Glory

“God, we pray that you would show up here tonight.”
I have heard that prayer prayed countless times before concerts, camps and worship services, and it has always puzzled me how nonchalantly it is usually uttered.
Perhaps I misunderstand the intention of those words, but usually following them, there is music, misty eyes, a good speaker and lots of emotions. When we leave the room, however, those words suddenly vanish from our minds and we go about our business as usual.
Not so when God “showed up” at Mount Sinai. Moses and God’s people had been waiting for this day—the day they would receive the law. God gave them clear instructions for what they were to do in order for this to happen. They obeyed. God told Moses to meet him on the mountain. He obeyed.
God spoke, the people listened and God showed up, changing the course of their lives forever.
The point? The glory of God is not tamable. We can’t expect to hold the reins of God’s glory and control where it goes with a little tug to the right or the left.
Rather than expecting God to magically appear when we need to temporarily feel something, we should be listening for God to call out to us from the midst of the cloud (even though we can’t see through it) so we can be changed permanently. We may feel like he isn’t “showing up” when we need him to, but the point isn’t always to call out to God with a desperate plea for help. Sometimes, just as Moses waited for six days on the mountain before God called out to him, we must wait on God to call out to us rather than expecting him to provide immediate answers or instant emotional gratification.
So whatever may be troubling you today, remember that God, in his incomprehensible glory, doesn’t always just “show up” to make us feel better about ourselves. His purpose (thankfully) is much bigger than that! Sometimes he is simply waiting for us to be still and listen long enough for him to call out to us from the cloud.

The real world...

I started my journalism classes this semester. Newswriting and Photojournalism. I'm stoked. Because this is what I want to do with my life, of course I decided that I would schmooze as much as possible without being obnoxious or brown-nosing. Just friendly and active in discussion-- to make a good impression.

My newswriting professor is amazing and extremely kind. I really like her. I asked her today if I could e-mail her my first ever Plainsman article that I stumbled into writing, and she said she would take a look at it. She encouraged me to keep writing and getting experience. Sweet. Uplifting. Nothing too special, but nice.

I also dropped my my photojournalism professor's office today to ask for help selecting photos for my Glomerata photography staff interview (this is my "resume building" semester since I only have 13 hours and no real job). He told me to come back at 1 p.m. Sweet again. What I good day, I thought. I go to his class at 11 and then eat lunch and head back over there. And of course I show up at 1 o'clock, and he forgot I was coming. Okay, not too bad; simple mistake. He looks at my pictures and just shrugs them off like, OK, but not spectacular. Again, not too bad considering I've only been taking pictures since January, and I've never had any formal training. Then, he tells me to bring back my "student portfolio" one day and we can pick some stuff out of that. I was like "my what?" Awkward silence. He said, "haven't you had my class before? You know, the portfolio." Ummm no. I am actually the girl that sits in the FRONT ROW of your class this semester and answers a bunch of questions with eager enthusiasm because I'm obsessed with photography. Cool. I calmly reply, "Oh no, I'm actually in your class this semester." Bewildered look. "Oh! Sorry, I have a lot going on," and for about the third time this week, "What's your name again?"

As I sauntered out the door, it hit me. This is what the real world is like. The world where I will soon be trying to get a job from people who "have a lot going on" and who are super nice, but also super don't care. We have to be diligent, and we have to keep being ourselves no matter what!

I made another appointment to go over my application and final picture selections on Monday, and I'll tell my name again if I must. Life's a bigger fishbowl than I thought.

Pure in Heart

"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God."

Pure- free from dust, dirt or taint; free from what vitiates, weakens, or pollutes; containing nothing that doesn't properly belong; free from moral fault or guilt

This is a tough one for me, because I struggle with the purity of my heart. I often wonder if my motives are pure, if I am humble or proud in my heart or if I simply choose to neglect purity.

Pure. Obviously a good thing, a healthy thing. Why do we so often invite things into our hearts that don't belong there? They become the dirt that pollutes us, weakening our convictions and killing our long-run self-esteem. The impurity of the heart affects the rest of our body, mind, soul, what have you. Obviously the "heart" is metaphoric since the heart itself carries no ties to emotion or thought.

But why the heart? Why choose that particular organ to represent our deepest, most passionate love?

Because the heart (the actual organ) is central to our body's survival. The body can't live without it, and it is involved in every body system. It never stops working, and it doesn't work on an as-needed basis. It is precious to our lives. It is vital. It continues to pump blood throughout our bodies whether we are awake or asleep, sick or well, hot or cold, sad or happy.

Unless something blocks it. Something that enters it that doesn't belong. It stops beating; you die; the end.

That is why the heart represents our unique person. It's the thing that sets us apart from others, the thing that defines the course of our lives; it loves, it hurts, it houses our God. That's the metaphoric Heart. Just like literal heart, metaphoric Heart is central. Without it, we cease to exist as an individual. We need to take care of it. Just like a person who eats a Big Mac twice a day, if we fill ourselves with crap, our Hearts will be in serious trouble.

With all of that said, what does a pure heart look like? I think it looks like this: pure motives, selfless attitudes, forgiveness, mercy, humility, pure thoughts and pure bodies-- basically all that God gives us in the Bible to live by.

So if the Heart is our own unique personality, our "self," if you will, then taking care of it is cultivating our own unique identity in Christ. Rather than molding us all into the same, cookie-cutter image of a perfect, boring Christian, Jesus promotes our individuality by telling us the best way to live in order to gain freedom from sin. Sin is what makes us all the same; purity is what sets us apart from those around us. I know it seems ridiculous, but if you really sit and ponder on this for a few minutes, it makes more sense.

If we get rid of the blockages in our Heart, we have the freedom to live, and to live well. If we submit to sin, we are slaves to it, looking more and more sad and hopeless everyday. We lose our spirit and our uniqueness to something we thought would give us freedom, but instead presented shackles. The pure in heart will see God. This is true- for God is a God of freedom.

blah.

I sometimes act like a crazy (insert profanity that starts with a b here).

Today was one of those days.

I'm not going to pour out all of the details on here, but I would like to express that today was a humbling day. I hope that I can be less crazy tomorrow.

The end.

"Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy."

merciful- compassionate; providing relief
mercy- compassion or forbearance shown especially to an offender or to one subject to one's power; lenient or compassionate treatment.

In order to show someone mercy, a person must be in a position of power over that person. This word does not mean "forgive those who hurt you." (that's meekness) People who show mercy are people with the power to punish subordinates, deserved or undeserved, and choose not to. he image I get in my head when I read this definition is of a king who decides if a peasant prisoner should live or die. A merciful king decides to allow the peasant to live because he sees something in this lowly man that makes him believe that he should be given a second chance at life.

So in this beattitude, was Jesus encouraging people in positions of power to be compassionate leaders? Absolutely. Jesus believes in trusting people who do not earn his trust. Otherwise we would never receive salvation.

How can we show mercy? What if we don't feel like we have enough power to be merciful? Each of us has some sort of influence or power over someone else, whether it is direct (parent, boss, teacher, etc.) or indirect (someone who knows a secret about someone else, a person who has been wronged by someone who is trying to earn their forgiveness, etc.). If you have direct power over another, be compassionate. Do not dismiss issues that need to be dealt with, but don't threaten to carry out a ridiculous punishment just so you can claim you were merciful in giving a more fair punishment ("I could fire you for being late, but I'm just going to write you up. You better be glad you have me for a boss"). Be compassionate from the start by designing rules and punishments for breaking these rules around your knowledge of human nature. Punishment is certainly necessary, but be merciful so the punishment does not end or severely damage your relationship with your subordinate. Use your authority to inspire people to do righteous actions rather than scaring them into skirting just close enough to the right thing to get by.

If you are in a position of indirect power over someone else, be merciful in not using that power to manipulate them. Showing mercy in these situations means being honest about why you hold this mysterious power over this person, and refusing to guilt trip the other person into complying with your demands. Show mercy by forgiving these people, or in some cases, accepting their authority over you despite their flaws.

The kicker is the second part of this beattitude: "they shall receive mercy." No matter what, there will always be times in our lives when we have authority to show mercy to other, and there will be other times when we will be the subordinate. If we show mercy to those we supervise, those who have power over us will be more inclined to show us mercy. Basically "treat others as you would have them treat you."

Best job ever

I'm an RA this year, and about half of the residents in our building moved in today. I was expecting us to be swamped with annoying questions, crazed parents clawing at the door at 7 a.m. and trying to bend all the rules to fit their needs, and girls who would pitch fits about getting the smaller closet.

None of that happened. People are INCREDIBLE.

The residents arrived, some almost crawling out of their skin with excitement, others smiling nervously, trying to hide that knot in their stomach steadily growing in dread of sleeping away from home for the first time. But none of them were selfish, spoiled or mean. They were funny, sweet and mature about the whole process. They comforted and reassured their parents, who were also great. The families were inquisitive, but not pushy (for the most part), and they were so thankful when we could help them. I saw so many examples of love today-- in the mom who asked questions when her child wasn't around to make sure she would be okay when she had to leave, the younger siblings who were so eager to help their big sister or brother, the dads, who lugged in heavy refrigerators in the 90 degree heat, and even the best friends and extended family who made the trip to help. Everyone was focused on the resident-- I imagine it was both unnerving and encouraging all at the same time.

I loved answering their questions, seeing the sigh of relief in parents' eyes when they saw that someone else cared about their child. Hearing the thank-you's and the sincere questions about my personal life from people who I had just met. Me answering sincerely and seeing the relief in all of their faces that I had survived two years of college, and that they probably would too. Hanging out with residents in the lobby learning their lives, their passions, their stories.

It was a great day. God made me outgoing for this. He made me fearless of talking to strangers for this. He made me with the ability to talk with everyone in the room in under thirty minutes for THIS. I always thought those things were useless. I wanted to be the quiet girl who had something incredible to say when she finally opened her mouth. I wanted to be known for my depth, not my initial bubblyness. I wanted to be mysterious, brooding, thought-provoking.

I'm not those things. I never will be. I need to learn how to listen to people better. I need to respect people while they're talking and give them time to fully develop what they're saying. That's the bad part of my personality. Those are my weaknesses-- I suck at listening. But I'm good at making people feel a part of something. I'm good at hospitality, making people feel at ease in a foreign place. I was hurt earlier in the summer when someone said I was the "meet and greet" girl-- I was good at meeting people, but I needed to pass them along to someone else once they were comfortable. I didn't understand how in the world that could ever be a positive thing. And sometimes it's not. But I'm finally seeing that it can be.

I prayed for some encouragement not too long ago, and God just gave it to me.

Matthew 5:6

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be satisfied."

Righteousness-
1. Acting in accord with divine or moral law
2. Morally right or justifiable

Morality. I often stress the importance of not focusing too intensely on our personal morality. I still stand behind that statement. Hungering and thirsting for righteousness is often confused with self-righteousness.

Self-righteousness-
convinced of one's own righteousness especially in contrast with the actions or beliefs of others: narrow-mindedly moralistic.

A self-righteous person can't "hunger and thirst for righteousness." They are already convinced they have arrived at moral perfection. The self-righteous person calls everyone else out on their flaws, but he fails to see his own weaknesses, therefore he never seeks to improve his moral condition.

Self-righteous people will never be satisfied as Jesus talks about in this passage. Think of it as a child who is hungry and thirsty. Instead of asking her mom for a snack, she finds a stash of Snickers and Reese's and washes them down with a Coke. She feels satisfied at first, but she soon begins to have a stomach ache. Rather than depending on her mom for nutritional satisfaction, she tried to create her own diet. Although it ceased her hunger and thirst, the meal was not healthy for her.

Just like this example, the self-righteous Christian neglects to plead with God for moral direction, but instead relies on social mores and laws to define his perfect morality. Christian circles often create extra-scriptural moral laws, creating the image of the "perfect Christian." The only morality we are accountable for is God's law, which if we remember says not to judge others and to pick the log out of our own eye before we go in attack mode over the speck in our neighbor's.

Everyone's morality does not look the same. Stop putting yourself in a box based on what people say you should be. If the expectations are not scriptural, they are most likely not God's. If we are not relying on God for our own specific moral instructions, we are settling for self-righteousness.

We must understand that in order to be able to hunger and thirst for something, we must be willing to admit our helplessness and inability to provide our own satisfaction. We must hunger and thirst for what is divinely righteous for us individually rather than finding false satisfaction in our perfect performance of what is culturally acceptable in our Christian circles.

Real: My current mission in life

I wrote this poem (I usually hate poetry because I feel so lazy writing it, but I was feeling lazy, so it happened).

I want to know

not just for me

for them too.

I want to understand You

all your reasons

even if it's not what we want to hear

I need less talk

less tradition

less fake

more genuine

more mercy

more Real

Real is

fearless

together

shameless

action, not words

Truth...

good

or

bad

So yeah... I'm not really a poet, but this is how I've been feeling for a while. I am not bashing church or anything like that. I'm not an "emergent," and I haven't been reading postmodern Christian authors lately to inspire this quest in my life for reality in my faith. I'm just simply tired of my own laziness. I'm tired of saying something just because I read it in a book or heard it in a sermon. I want to know what all of those "Christiany" words and phrases actually mean, if they mean anything. I want to stop the fluff, stop the "that's just what I've always heard" mess. I want to know because I have pored over my Bible and prayed until I cried and begged God to reveal himself to me. I don't want to lock myself away in my room all day every day and only surround myself with Christians-- that certainly isn't what Jesus did. But if we follow Jesus and other holy people in the Bible, we do see that they made a huge effort to know what God wanted for them, and for most of them, it wasn't what everyone around them liked or wanted to hear. They took time out of their day to be alone with God, and they never hid or downplayed their faith to try to reach someone.

On another note, there is one thing that absolutely dumbfounds me about churches in America, and if you have feedback on this thought (positive or negative), I'd like to hear it. 

Everyday I drive past a church that has these crazy signs like "don't wait to come to church until six strong men carry you there," or "get right or get left." 

Right now, their sign says, "Freedom is never given. It is always won."

What?

It sounds to me like they are no more talking about God than my journalism professors would talk about the immune system of a cat. I may have interpreted the sign wrong, but I read that as saying "Go America! We love our freedom here!" Of course, there is nothing wrong with being an American-- I love it here and I am so glad I am a U.S. citizen. All nationalistic feelings aside though, does Jesus say "Love the Lord with all your heart, and love America too!" No. He says "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments" (Matthew 26:37-40). Let me repeat, I am not anti-American by any means. I just don't see why we waste our time with stuff like this.

Why should we be preaching about guns, or any other political message? I don't think America is bad, but I don't think we're God's favorite people either. I'm not completely anti-gun either, but who cares? What about understanding scripture? What about evangelism?  Our constitution was built on the Christian faith. Our faith was never supposed to be filtered through our constitution. If there is something our government or our citizens do that doesn't jive with God's law and character, which is more important to us? We can argue all day long on whether it's right to ban guns, but in the end, are we arguing on behalf of God's word, or are we arguing based on our preferences? If we are arguing on our preferences, that's fine, but let's not bring God into it unless we really know how he stands on the issues. Before we vilify our fellow Christians based on their country of origin or their stance on war, welfare or any other issue, let's examine our motives. Are we criticizing them because they go against what God says, or are we criticizing them because they go against what our culture says? It is not a requirement worship America or any other nation to worship Jesus. There are Christians all over the world who couldn't care less about the things we so passionately use God to argue about. They're just happy to know him and happy to have been given freedom from sin. 

I think in my case, freedom was never won. I received it from a God whose first priority is saving people who don't earn it. 

I went to a wedding this past week, so of course I got to thinking about love and marriage and all of that jazz.

I think these verses are an excellent description of what marriage should be like. Many marriages seem to lack encouragement and partnership; husbands don't lift up their wives; wives don't lift up their husbands. I want my future marriage to be a real-life picture of these verses.

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

He must become greater; I must become less.

I'm listening to a sermon on Luke 19:11-26- the parable of the minas. In one part of the sermon, my pastor says, "We must receive the Gospel not as consumers, but as investors. The Gospel is not like some lavish meal that you get and just enjoy and savor. The Gospel is not like some ticket to Heaven that you just take and put in your pocket and walk around thankful because you know it's there...

We receive the Gospel that the Gospel might be put to work in our own lives, that God through it might transform us more and more into the image of his Son...

So pull us away from all our allegiances from so-called gods, so that the truth of God's unconditional, undeserved, unasked for, unmerited love can work to enable us to increasingly love others apart from what they can give to us!"

So many times, we all take the Gospel for granted and just use it to simply get through life. We are comforted by it; it brings us joy; it makes us feel good to know our Creator. All of these things are certainly good, but the entire Bible calls for us to do something more with this gift we are given.

Just as the master gives each of his servants the same amount of money and tells them to "do business" while he is gone, God gives each of us his Gospel, and during our lives we are to do the Kingdom's business. This requires action and change in our lives. I have been struggling with this myself lately, and God is slowly making it clear to me what I must change in order to continue following him. Throughout the Bible, God constantly tests and tries his followers, making them more humble with every turn. He is not an easy master, but he is a wise one, one who knows our full potential and what parts of ourselves we must part with to achieve it. Those who don't know him could never understand why this is an attractive way to live, but the evidence that it is lies in the legacies of those who have followed his calling to abandon their pride.

A really good speech

I know not everyone agrees with President Obama on everything, but I just watched this speech and I thought I would share it. He is speaking at graduation at Notre Dame, a Catholic school, so he talks a lot about God and even shares his testimony. It's a side of Obama people don't focus on a lot... I thought it was very interesting. He and I share common beliefs about cooperation between groups who disagree. It gets good around the 10 minute mark.

Watch it here.

Sitting at home alone... peaceful moments.

I'm home. I left all my jeans in Auburn. Maybe I will finally have tan legs?

Almost done with HP 7. It's so intense... hard for me to put it down! I love reading so much, and I can't wait to catch up on my long list of books to read this summer and in the fall. Because I'm an RA next year, I can't work at the pharmacy in the fall, giving me (hopefully) loads of extra time to just hang out, read, and do whatever. I am actively remembering that wasting time is one of my biggest talents, and I'm praying that I use next semester as a gift. Whether it's reading, writing, taking pictures, learning to play guitar, or poring over my Bible and praying, I want to always be doing something constructive in the fall. Facebook is not constructive; sleeping is not constructive... my two biggest vices. I want the fall to be a semester to remember. I will not remember anything if I facebook and sleep my way through it.

I'm super excited about this summer, being an RA, and finally getting to take real journalism classes. As of now, however, I must remember that God sometimes uses the moments we are not excited about (aka the next two weeks) the most. We miss so many opportunities to share, love and serve because we are blindly eager for the obvious. God is well-known for his subtleties. I think he is very wise. If we only fulfilled his will in those grand, overseas mission trip sort of moments, we would think we are able to predict him, which is obviously not the case. Just as he came on a donkey rather than a stallion, in a stable rather than a palace, so he often comes at humble moments in our lives rather than grandeur ones. He always leaves me scratching my head, wondering.

Unrelated verse I read last night: "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." John 1:5

Grace

God is showing me a lot about grace this week.

When I continue to mess up at something, it is because I am not asking for God's help to get rid of that sin in my life. This is pride. Then I feel guilty, thinking that God is upset with me, when he is actually just waiting for me to give up the struggle and let Him take it from me. Sin will always defeat me, but it will never be too much for God.

I am learning that grace is when God takes the responsibility for our sin and our struggles. Without becoming humble and and admitting that sin has a hold of my life, I can't accept God's grace. I so often beat myself up when I mess up, convinced that this is what I should do after sinning. But when sin becomes habitual, so do our worthless repetitive confessions. The only way to truly defeat habitual sin is to admit that it has a hold on us and allow God to handle it.

Like a child trying stubbornly to be independent, I have rejected your grace and your help far too long. Like a father you have watched patiently until I finally realize that I need your help. I turn around and look at you, tears filling my eyes. Too proud to ask, I look to the ground. "My daughter," you say, "can I take that burden from you? Can I fix it?" Tears begin to stream down my face and you quietly take what I am struggling to fix and mend it with one swift motion. I am ashamed that I waited this long to ask you. You smile gently and stroke my hair, knowing that I have learned a valuable lesson today. Even though it took me so long to realize my frailty, you are proud of me, proud of what I have learned. I cannot understand your grace, but I am grateful for what you are to me, grateful that you are God and I am not.

"Oh how can I give you up, Israel?
How can I let you go?
How can I destroy you like Admah
or demolish you like Zeboiim?
My heart is torn within me,
and my compassion overflows.
No, I will not unleash my fierce anger.
I will not completely destroy Israel,
for I am God and not a mere mortal.
I am the Holy One living among you,
and I will not come to destroy."
-Hosea 11:8-9

Lord's Supper: Luke 22:7-23

I had the amazing opportunity to participate in a Messianic Passover service the week before Easter. As simple as it was, it has changed the way I view the history of what I believe in a huge way. I believe that before we understand Christianity, we must have some basic understanding of Jewish culture and traditions. Since I have begun to make an effort to learn about Judaism, I have begun to understand how magnanimous Jesus' life, death and resurrection really were! It is interesting to me that modern-day Jews still practice the traditions that lead to Christ.

There is an element of the Passover meal in which three pieces of unleavened bread, or matzah, are taken out. The middle piece of bread is broken in half to symbolize the affliction suffered by the Jews, and one of the halves is wrapped in a special cloth and hidden. The Passover meal is a family tradition, so during the meal, the youngest child finds the special piece of matzah, also known as the afikomen (dessert), and presents it at the end of the meal. The father of the household buys the afikomen back from the child by giving them money or a gift. The last food eaten during the meal is the afikomen.

Do you see the similarities of this ceremony and the death and resurrection of Jesus? The three pieces of bread would be the Trinity- Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. The middle one is taken out and broken. It is then wrapped, just as Jesus was wrapped in burial clothes, and hidden, like a burial. The bread is then brought back and enjoyed by all at the table. "It is shared as the Passover lamb was shared from the time of exodus until the destruction of the temple." This piece of bread symbolizes the Passover lamb-- Jesus is also called the "lamb of God;" the ultimate sacrifice.

So in Luke, when Jesus is partaking in this very same meal with his disciples, he breaks this piece of matzah and instead of saying what they normally hear, he says, "This is my body, which is given for you. Do this in remembrance of me." He opens their eyes to the prophecy they have been partaking in all their lives without even realizing it! Jesus is the afikomen, the dessert, the perfect Passover Lamb.

I think this last Passover meal with Jesus also is very powerful for the Gentiles, because it gives a new meaning to this meal-- not only to remember the Jews' freedom from exile in Egypt, but now also to remember the freedom from the slavery of humanity to sin. This meal covers all of us. We are all, Jews and Gentiles alike, to remember the event that freed us from the bondage of sin-- permanently.

That is why we partake in the Lord's supper. It is so much more than what we have made it.

A Picnic to Remember!

We had a picnic today for the community of Opelika, and it went so well! We had about 100 people come and eat. Many of them were excited "about next year!!" We were not sure what to expect. Little did we know, most all of our food and drinks would be donated. We entered a video in a contest and were hoping to win some money (we didn't). But God provided more than we could have ever imagined. We had so much fun and built some great relationships with the people who came. It was a beautiful day. I can't think of a better way to spend a Saturday. We hope to do many more events like this in the future! God is good!

James 1

What an incredible chapter.

James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ, to the twelve tribes scattered among the nations: Greetings.

Trials and Temptations

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must ask and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

The brother in humble circumstances ought to take pride in his high position. But the one who is rich should take pride in his low position, for he will pass away like a wild flower. The sun rises with scorching heat and withers away the plant; the blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich man will fade away even as he goes about his business.

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, for when he has stood the test, he will be given the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. 

When tempted, no one should say "God is tempting me," for God cannot be tempted by evil nor does he tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

Do not be deceived, dear brothers, for every good and perfect gift comes from the father of heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, so that we might become a kind of first fruits of all he created.

Listening and doing

My dear brothers, take note of this: Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. For man's anger does not bring about the righteous life God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted within you, which can save you.

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like man who looks at his face in the mirror, and after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to this, not forgetting what he has heard- he will be blessed in what he does.

If anyone who considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless. Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless as this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. 

This chapter is jammed full of what seems to be random advice for living a Christ-like life, but if we look a little deeper into the meaning of this chapter, it is much more than that. It is also a testament to the sovereignty of Jesus! 

Being that James was Jesus' brother, I think it's really cool that he calls him "the Lord Jesus Christ" in the first verse- I don't think I would be so keen to do so unless I was absolutely convinced that my sibling was undoubtedly the Messiah. :)

The first chunk ("Consider it pure joy-all he does") seems to jump from persevering through trials to asking God for wisdom to asking and not doubting. In the past I have wondered why James changed ideas from sentence to sentence, but now, I see an important correlation. I think James is trying to say here, 

"When hard times come, you get tough. You learn how to maneuver through life better with every situation you pull through. As you become more mature, you will begin to hunger for wisdom to make the right decisions, because that's what maturity is all about-- desiring to please God. When you begin to feel the need for this wisdom, just ask God. He wants to give it to you, but you must go through those trials and become mature and complete before you are ready. When you reach this point, ask God and know that he is going to give you the wisdom you need to keep maturing. If you aren't ready for that wisdom, you will doubt that God is going to help you. If you're doubting God's generosity, you're not ready for his wisdom. Take a few more trials and learn to be a little more mature. You don't want the wisdom God has to give if you're not prepared for it. It's heavy stuff."

How does this relate to the next chunk about the poor man taking pride in his high position and the rich man taking pride in his low position?

I think it all has to do with the idea that trials, humble circumstances, or whatever you want to call "I-think-the-grass-is-greener-over-there" situations aren't always what you think they are. We are always trying to run away from hardships, thinking that if we are ever faced with something unpleasant it's not God's will for our lives. James is saying that this is contrary to what Jesus teaches-- He wants us to value humility before we value an easy life full of money and worldly success. There are three definitions of humble:

1. not proud our haughty; not arrogant or assertive

2. reflecting, expressing, or offered in a spirit of deference  or submission

3. ranking low in a hierarchy or scale insignificant, unpretentious. Not costly or luxurious.

I think of Jesus when I hear all three of those definitions. Jesus requires these qualities of us as well, no matter what personality we have or how ambitious we may be. I think this is a problem for many of us, and I'm not just talking about money. Anything that makes us feel like we are important and anything that we prize more than we should robs us of a humble spirit and causes us to wither away like a wild flower. Think of a those yellow flowers kids always pick from the weeds in the yards and bring to their mothers. The blossom begins to fade hours after it is picked, useless and ugly. But the dirt under the weeds remains season after season, humble, but unchanging and reliable. Are we dandelions or dirt? 

Calling it a night... I'll finish this another day. 

A Crazy Day

So today was a BAD day for the most part. As strange as it sounds, I think I needed it. I've  had a lot of good days, and I have been praying for humility a lot lately, and I got a large dose of it today. We had a "debate" in class today. I had to argue for the stimulus package, and I just talked a lot. I shouldn't have, because I'm a terrible arguer. I know I am a terrible arguer, but I guess my pride or my passion about it just took over. I think people hate me. Haha. One girl was just called me out and was like "I don't understand your argument" in an angry voice, and I shut up after that. In addition to that, I forgot to do 8 spreadsheets that were due the next class. Luckily, he let me turn it in this afternoon, but it was an ORDEAL to get it printed! I tried two different places in the library-- printer didn't work. I had to walk to the student center to use CopyCat... anyway, long story short, I was more than frustrated! I know that sounds not-so-awful, but for some reason, today it was. I think it was 1. Lack of sleep, 2. Over-sensitivity to what people think about me, 3. Friday the 13th, 4. I was just so ready to be done (it's the Friday before spring break for goodness' sake!) 

So, needless to say, I was humbled, especially by the debate incident. I just feel like I talk SO much sometimes, and I say so little. I just want to make a difference, and I feel like I talk so much that people just A.D.D. out and stop listening. I over explain myself 88.7% of the time, and I use 4321134124 words when I'm only trying to get across a point that could be explained in 6. I can say what I need to say when I write, but not when I speak. I hate that. I wish I were one of those quiet people who, when they finally speak up, say something meaningful. 

I need to master the art of thinking before I speak. I know God made me loud and crazy and opinionated for a reason, but I just feel like I'm more annoying than anything sometimes. I want to shut up long enough for God to use me. I just want to be wise... 

"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." James 1:5 

Really, don't read this. I'm doing this so I can access this easily for studying purposes.

Capitalization

-avoid unnecessary capitals

-proper nouns

-some common nouns receive proper noun status when they are used as the name of a particular entity: General Electric, Gulf Oil

-proper names: capitalize common nouns such as party, river, street and west when they are an integral part of the full name for a person, place or thing: Democratic Party, Mississippi River, etc. 

-Lowercase these common nouns when they stand alone in subsequent references the party, the river, etc

-Lowercase the common noun elements of names in all plural uses: the Democratic and Republican parties, Main and State streets, lakes Erie and Ontario

-popular names: some places and events lack officially designated proper names but have popular names that are the effective equivalent: the Combat Zone (a section of downtown Boston), the Main Line (a group of Philadelphia suburbs), the Badlands (of S.D.), the Street (the financial community in the Wall Street area of New York). 

-this also applies to shortened versions of the proper names of one-of-a-kind events: the Series (the World Series), the Derby (the Kentucky Derby). 

-derivatives: capitalize words that are derived from a proper noun and still depend on it for their meaning: American, Christian, Christianity, English, French, Marxism, Shakespearean. 

-Lowercase words that are derived from a proper noun but no longer depend on it for their meaning: french fries, herculean, manhattan cocktail, malapropism, pasteurize, quixotic, venetian blind. 

-titles: capitalize formal titles when used immediately before a name. Lowercase formal titles when used alone or in constructions that set them off from a name by commas: President Barack Obama/ Barack Obama, president of the United States, 

-Use lowercase at all times for terms that are job descriptions rather than formal titles: gardener John C. Jones

Abbreviations/Acronyms

-before a name: Abbreviate titles when used before a full name: Dr., Gov., Lt. Gov., Mr., Mrs., Rep., the Rev., Sen. and certain military designations:

general: Gen.

lieutenant general: Lt. Gen.

major general: Maj. Gen.

brigadier general: Brig. Gen.

colonel: Col.

lieutenant colonel: Lt. Col. 

major: Maj.

captain: Capt.

first lieutenant: 1st Lt.

second lieutenant: 2nd Lt.

sergeant major: Sgt. Maj.

first sergeant: 1st Sgt. 

sergeant first class: Sgt. 1st Class

specialist four: Spec. 4

corporal: Cpl.

private first class: Pfc.

private: Pvt.

chief petty officer: Chief Petty Officer

admiral: Adm.

vice admiral: Vice Adm.

rear admiral: Rear Adm.

commodore: Commodore

captain: Capt.

commander: Cmdr.

lieutenant commander: Lt. Cmdr.

lieutenant: Lt.

lieutenant junior grade: Lt. j.g. 

ensign: Ensign

seaman: Seaman

seaman apprentice: Seaman Apprentice

master sergeant: Master Sgt. 

technical sergeant: Tech. Sgt. 

airman first class: Airman 1st Class

airman: Airman

With dates or numerals: Use the abbreviations A.D., B.C., a.m., p.m., No., (ONLY WITH NUMERALS ATTACHED) and abbreviate certain months when used with the day of the month: Jan., Feb., March, April, May, June, July, Aug., Sept., Oct., Nov., Dec.

-In numbers and addresses: Abbreviate avenue, boulevard and street in numbered addresses: He lives on Pennsylvania Avenue. He lives at 122 Pennsylvania Ave. 

-Acceptable but not required: CIA, FBI, GOP

-DO NOT follow an organization's full name with an abbreviation or acronym in parentheses or set off by dashes (Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) NO NO NO! 

-Caps, Periods: Generally, omit periods in acronyms unless the result would spell an unrelated word. But use period in most two-letter abbreviations: U.K., U.S., etc. 

-Use all caps, but no periods, in longer abbreviations and acronyms when the individual letters are pronounced: ABC, CIA, FBI

Punctuation

-Apostrophe

-plural nouns ending in S: Add only an apostrophe: the churches' needs

-nouns plural in form, singular in meaning: add only an apostrophe: mathematics' rules

-nouns the same in singular and plural: treat them the same as plurals, even if the meaning is singular: one corps' location, the two deer's tracks, the lone moose's antlers

-singular nouns not ending in S: Add 's: the church's needs.

-singular common nouns ending in S: add 's unless the next word begins with s: the hostess's invitation, but the hostess' seat.

-singular proper names ending in S: Use only an apostrophe: Achilles' heel, Agnes' book.

-Special Expressions: for appearance' sake, for conscience' sake (end in s sound and next word starts with s)

-Joint/Individual Possession: Use a possessive form after only the last word if ownership is joint: Fred and Sylvia's apartment. But use a possessive form after both words if the objects are individually owned: Fred's and Sylvia's books. 

-Descriptive Phrases: Don't add apostrophe to a word ending in s when it is used primarily in a descriptive sense: citizens band radio, a teachers college, a Teamsters request, a writers guide. (**The apostrophe usually is not used if for or by rather than of would be appropriate in the longer form: a radio for citizens, a college for teachers, a request by the Teamsters, a guide for writers).

Comma

-In a series: Use a comma to separate elements in a series, but do not put a comma before the conjunction in a simple series: The flag is red, white and blue.

-Put a comma before the concluding conjunction in a series, however, if an integral element of the series requires a conjunction: I had orange juice, toast, and ham and eggs for breakfast.

-Also use a comma before the concluding conjunction in a complex set of phrases.

-With equal adjectives: Use commas to separate a series of adjectives equal in  rank. If the commas could be replaced by the word "and" without changing the sense, the adjectives are equal: a thoughtful, precise manner; a dark, dangerous street.

-Use no comma when the last adjective before a noun outranks its predecessors because it is an integral element of a noun phrase, which is the equivalent of a single noun: a cheap fur coat (the noun phrase is fur coat); the old oaken bucket; a new, blue spring bonnet.

-With nonessential clauses: A nonessential clause must be set off by commas. An essential clause must NOT be set off from the rest of a sentence by commas. My son Todd plays football. My husband, Bob, is awesome. 

-With introductory clauses and phrases: When he woke up, he felt sore. 

-With conjunctions: When a conjunction such as and, but or for links two clauses that could stand alone as separate sentences, use a comma before the conjunction in most cases. 

-Introducing direct quotes:

-one-sentence quotation within a paragraph: Wallace said, "She spent six months in Argentina."

-use a colon to introduce quotations of more than one sentence.

-do not use a comma at the start of an indirect or partial quotation

-Before attribution: use a comma instead of a at the end of a quote that is followed by attribution: "Rub my shoulders," Miss Cawley said.

Semicolon

- to clarify a series: Use semicolons to separate elements of a series when the items in the series are long o when individual segments contain material that also must be set off by commas: "He is survived by a son, John Smith, of Chicago; three daughters, Jane Smith...

-to link independent clauses: The package was due last week; it arrived today.

Hyphen

Hyphens are joiners. Use them to avoid ambiguity or to form a single idea from two or more words. 

-avoid ambiguity: Use a hyphen whenever ambiguity would result if it were omitted: The president will speak to small-business men. 

-Compound modifiers: a first-quarter touchdown, out-of-state college

-most of these lose the hyphen when placed after the noun: touchdown in the first quarter, she attended a college out of state. 

-BUT when a modifier that would be hyphenated before a noun occurs instead after a form of the bird to be, the hyphen must be retained to avoid confusion: The man is well-known. The woman is quick-witted. 

-Two-thought compounds: serio-comic, socio-economic

-Compound proper nouns and adjectives: Use a hyphen to designate dual heritage: Italian-American

Quotations

-do not use fragments: Wrong: "The senator said he would "go home to Michigan" if he lost the election. Right: The senator said he would go home to Michigan if he lost the election.

Numerals 

-Use 1-9, ten

-spell out numbers if they are the first word of a sentence (unless a year)

Patience vs. Patients

Patience (self-control)

Patients (clients of a doctor)

I had a word usage test today. Word usage is all about using the right word at the right time. I think I did well. I like writing. I like editing. I like photography. I like Jesus. I like traveling (traveling has ONE "l" not two. I missed that on my spelling test).  I would really like to know how God is going to use all of these avocations of mine in my future. Thus patience, the self-control kind, is really a tough concept for me to grasp right now. Some days, I would love to be back in the time when I had everything planned- I was going to be a veterinarian. I knew what to do and when to do it, and I knew I could go anywhere with that job. The problem came along when I completely lost my passion for veterinary medicine during my freshman year and capitalized on my lifelong obsession with the technicalities and the art of the English language. So not practical. So not an easily planned career path, and lately my mind is screaming at me, "What are you doing???" 

Alas, my heart and my soul trump my head, and I'm actually extremely grateful for that. I know I'm on this path for a reason, and I am a firm believer that God gives us talents and passions to show us his will for our lives. I've heard some people say "don't follow your dreams, follow God's!" This is a true statement, but from what I've experienced, God doesn't really rip away our dreams and throw them into the trash can, but rather, he changes them (if we're open enough to allow him to). When we cling tightly to our goals and plans is when God must painfully remove them from us and we must learn to adjust to his plans for our lives. If we are in open communication with God, and are truly willing to submit to his authority, he begins to change our hearts willingly. We wonder what our dreams ever were in the first place, and we find ourselves loving something (or someone) we never could have imagined.  

My problem often lies when I look behind or ahead of me. I am content when I'm thinking about today, but the thoughts of what could have been and what will be terrify me when I give them a second thought. God is very much a God of the present. We've been talking about that a lot on Tuesday nights at BCM lately, and it has struck me as something I've never given much consideration to in the past. I don't want to worry my life away (sounds like a Jason Mraz song to me...), and I am making a conscious (maybe not natural, but conscious just the same) effort to just let go of the future as well as the past, and take to today for what it is. God is not a God of confusion. He is the artist of the Big Picture, and I'm just a speck of paint on his canvas. It all makes sense to him.

Simplify, Simplify, Simplify!

I've been thinking a lot lately about how to simplify my life. I have already successfully cut back or eliminated several time-sucking activities, like watching TV, but I still feel like I am spreading myself too thin at times. I decided tonight would be a solitary night-- just me, my laundry, homework and God. It's amazing how soothing doing laundry or cleaning my room is when I normally don't have time to do it. It almost becomes a special treat when I can stay at home and catch up on cleaning, write a blog or just do my homework before the night it's due! Being as extroverted as I am presents a problem at times because I thrive off of social interaction and am generally completely content while in constant contact with others. Unfortunately, spending every waking moment in the presence of others is straining on my schoolwork, my relationship with God and my sanity all together! I love my friends, and I love being involved in clubs and whatnot, but sometimes life just calls for a breather from all of that. Spiritually, I can only grow so much when I'm in the presence of others. Sometimes I just need to lock myself away in my room and spend some much needed alone time with my Creator, whether that means being obedient by representing him well in my schoolwork, praising him while doing laundry or actually studying his Word-- sometimes we just need to do things alone. This has been a hard concept for me to grasp since coming to Auburn, but I am learning more and more why Henry David Thoreau talked so much about simplicity. It is soothing to the mind, body and soul, and should always be a priority in our lives. 

Weekend

I had a really great weekend at home! I watched 3 and 1/2 movies, which were all good, hung out with my family, played hide-and-seek, played with my dog, went to church, went grocery shopping, cleaned my room... 

It was really relaxing.

I miss reading my Bible. That's all that just came up in my mind to write. Why wasn't that included in my relaxing weekend? Why am I writing a blog at 12:25 instead of reading it if I miss it? Duh, bye. Short blog. I was interrupted. :)

Latvia! Some thoughts.

It's official: Robyn, Cole, Trey and I are going to Latvia for four weeks this summer. 

This will be my first trip to Europe, second mission trip, first flight across the Atlantic and longest time out of the country yet. Needless to say there will be a lot of firsts for me this summer. 

Exciting as all of that will be, the purpose of this trip isn't to check another continent off of my list. I'm not going to make it more glorious than it really is, but I think I need to begin now praying that this trip will be more than just a fun month during the summer. 

It is a mission trip, and although I don't expect us to start a revival, I do expect to learn a great deal about ministry in another culture from the missionaries there. I'm confident in my faith, but this summer will challenge me to learn more about how to share that faith with those around me.

 I can't stand the "I'm a hero" mentality we seem to possess when we go to other countries to share the Gospel. There are already strong Christians in Latvia and most every country, and to prance into these countries with the mindset of "I know something they don't" is arrogant and pompous. Christians of other nationalities who have different traditions and speak different languages know God. Their faith is just as strong (or stronger) as any American's, and when we go on these short-term trips, we are there to help in what is already going on! To march into another country as a short-term missionary and demand that everyone match the way the American church (or a particular denomination) does ministry is absurd and unproductive. I hope I keep that in the forefront of my mind not only this summer, but for the rest of my life. I pray that God continually humbles me and teaches me to adjust wherever I may go. 

I will now hop off the soapbox. 

Latvia is a smallish country in Eastern Europe. It is bordered by Lithuania to the south, Estonia to the north and Belarus and Russia to the east. It was formerly a part of the Soviet Union and restored its independence in 1991. As far as religion is concerned, 37% believe "there is a god," 49% "believe there is some sort of spirit or life force" and 10% "do not believe there is any sort of spirit, god, or life force" (Wikipedia). In comparison to the US, in 2007 78.4% of Americans claimed to follow Christianity, while 16.8% claimed to be agnostic, atheist, or having no religion. 

This summer, we will be working with mostly high school and college students. I'm really excited about working with an older age group. Lately kids have not been my forte-- I'm not sure why. Ha. It should provide great learning and ministry experience. 

I'm also grateful to be going with the group I'm going with. Trey actually lived in Latvia for seven years as a missionary kid, so it's comforting to me that he knows the area and might remember some of the language. Robyn is an incredible friend and I have watched her love internationals for over a year, and I've also gone to Guatemala with her for a week. She is extremely humble and sincere in her faith. I have a lot to learn from her. Cole is hilarious and also a great friend. He is wise as well as funny and will add balance to the team. He traveled to Europe last summer, so that is comforting as well. We also may meet up with Trey's dad and a team he is bringing to Latvia this summer, which would be fantastic. 

Overall, I'm just giddy thinking about it. Be praying for our team and for the people of Latvia! :)

Culture=amazing

People from other countries are amazing. 

I hang out with a group of American and international students from all over the world on Thursday nights called Global Cafe, and it is absolutely one of the greatest groups I have ever been a part of. I have learned more about people through Global than I ever thought I could. It's amazing to me how similar all of us are, regardless of the lack of common heritage, language, customs or skin color. It's also amazing to watch friendship transcend all of those supposed barriers. 

A few things I've learned (I guess this is common knowledge, but to see it makes it sink in...)

-All people love to laugh. Even if two people have trouble understanding each other's words, laughter bonds them. 

-Everyone just wants friends who accept them for who they are. 

-Everyone is more than willing to share about their culture: food, traditions, how to count to ten in their language... and they all listen to others' stories as well

-There are shy people and loud people in every culture

-Everyone loves music

-Everyone loves food

-Everyone enjoys giving each other a hard time

-A lot of people who aren't very good at English are WAY smarter than Americans, but we treat them like idiots?

-Ping pong is a universal bonding tool

-Jesus loves people from every culture... and every culture relates to him differently... wowzers how amazing is that?

Matt. 28:19-20.