God is showing me a lot about grace this week.
When I continue to mess up at something, it is because I am not asking for God's help to get rid of that sin in my life. This is pride. Then I feel guilty, thinking that God is upset with me, when he is actually just waiting for me to give up the struggle and let Him take it from me. Sin will always defeat me, but it will never be too much for God.
I am learning that grace is when God takes the responsibility for our sin and our struggles. Without becoming humble and and admitting that sin has a hold of my life, I can't accept God's grace. I so often beat myself up when I mess up, convinced that this is what I should do after sinning. But when sin becomes habitual, so do our worthless repetitive confessions. The only way to truly defeat habitual sin is to admit that it has a hold on us and allow God to handle it.
Like a child trying stubbornly to be independent, I have rejected your grace and your help far too long. Like a father you have watched patiently until I finally realize that I need your help. I turn around and look at you, tears filling my eyes. Too proud to ask, I look to the ground. "My daughter," you say, "can I take that burden from you? Can I fix it?" Tears begin to stream down my face and you quietly take what I am struggling to fix and mend it with one swift motion. I am ashamed that I waited this long to ask you. You smile gently and stroke my hair, knowing that I have learned a valuable lesson today. Even though it took me so long to realize my frailty, you are proud of me, proud of what I have learned. I cannot understand your grace, but I am grateful for what you are to me, grateful that you are God and I am not.
"Oh how can I give you up, Israel?
How can I let you go?
How can I destroy you like Admah
or demolish you like Zeboiim?
My heart is torn within me,
and my compassion overflows.
No, I will not unleash my fierce anger.
I will not completely destroy Israel,
for I am God and not a mere mortal.
I am the Holy One living among you,
and I will not come to destroy."
-Hosea 11:8-9
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This should be one of the simplest and most foundational truths of our faith, but yet so many of us struggle to grasp it. We continue to blame ourselves, allowing guilt to overwhelm us. Before we know it, we have forgotten about God's forgiveness and have become numb to his redemption.
ReplyDeleteI do have a question that may be difficult to answer. How do we tangibly "give God" our sin? Is it in our hearts or our actions? Or both? I think that just as we are prone to write God out of our problems, which causes us to feel guilt, we can consequently write ourselves out of our problems, causing us to be apathetic and unchanged. Both extremes are self-destructive. So to phrase my question another way, what does a more moderate way in which we work in cooperation with God tangibly look like?
I think it's mostly a mental thing. It is giving it to him in the sense of "okay, I'm going to admit that I am not strong enough to handle this." So it's not being irresponsible and saying "okay the ball's in God's court now", but rather remembering the verse "My grace is sufficient for you. My power works best in your weakness."
ReplyDeleteWe continue to work hard to beat sin, but acknowledge that only God can turn our weaknesses into strengths. :)
Our paster at Parkway preached on Judges 5 this Sunday. This is Deborah's victory song after defeating Israel's enemies. It just praises God's might, and how nothing can stand against that kind of God. Not sin, or failures, or any weakness is greater then his strength. While surrenduring God certainly starts as a mental decision I think it should saturate our entire life, how we view the world, how we live our lives...
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