Grace

God is showing me a lot about grace this week.

When I continue to mess up at something, it is because I am not asking for God's help to get rid of that sin in my life. This is pride. Then I feel guilty, thinking that God is upset with me, when he is actually just waiting for me to give up the struggle and let Him take it from me. Sin will always defeat me, but it will never be too much for God.

I am learning that grace is when God takes the responsibility for our sin and our struggles. Without becoming humble and and admitting that sin has a hold of my life, I can't accept God's grace. I so often beat myself up when I mess up, convinced that this is what I should do after sinning. But when sin becomes habitual, so do our worthless repetitive confessions. The only way to truly defeat habitual sin is to admit that it has a hold on us and allow God to handle it.

Like a child trying stubbornly to be independent, I have rejected your grace and your help far too long. Like a father you have watched patiently until I finally realize that I need your help. I turn around and look at you, tears filling my eyes. Too proud to ask, I look to the ground. "My daughter," you say, "can I take that burden from you? Can I fix it?" Tears begin to stream down my face and you quietly take what I am struggling to fix and mend it with one swift motion. I am ashamed that I waited this long to ask you. You smile gently and stroke my hair, knowing that I have learned a valuable lesson today. Even though it took me so long to realize my frailty, you are proud of me, proud of what I have learned. I cannot understand your grace, but I am grateful for what you are to me, grateful that you are God and I am not.

"Oh how can I give you up, Israel?
How can I let you go?
How can I destroy you like Admah
or demolish you like Zeboiim?
My heart is torn within me,
and my compassion overflows.
No, I will not unleash my fierce anger.
I will not completely destroy Israel,
for I am God and not a mere mortal.
I am the Holy One living among you,
and I will not come to destroy."
-Hosea 11:8-9

Lord's Supper: Luke 22:7-23

I had the amazing opportunity to participate in a Messianic Passover service the week before Easter. As simple as it was, it has changed the way I view the history of what I believe in a huge way. I believe that before we understand Christianity, we must have some basic understanding of Jewish culture and traditions. Since I have begun to make an effort to learn about Judaism, I have begun to understand how magnanimous Jesus' life, death and resurrection really were! It is interesting to me that modern-day Jews still practice the traditions that lead to Christ.

There is an element of the Passover meal in which three pieces of unleavened bread, or matzah, are taken out. The middle piece of bread is broken in half to symbolize the affliction suffered by the Jews, and one of the halves is wrapped in a special cloth and hidden. The Passover meal is a family tradition, so during the meal, the youngest child finds the special piece of matzah, also known as the afikomen (dessert), and presents it at the end of the meal. The father of the household buys the afikomen back from the child by giving them money or a gift. The last food eaten during the meal is the afikomen.

Do you see the similarities of this ceremony and the death and resurrection of Jesus? The three pieces of bread would be the Trinity- Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. The middle one is taken out and broken. It is then wrapped, just as Jesus was wrapped in burial clothes, and hidden, like a burial. The bread is then brought back and enjoyed by all at the table. "It is shared as the Passover lamb was shared from the time of exodus until the destruction of the temple." This piece of bread symbolizes the Passover lamb-- Jesus is also called the "lamb of God;" the ultimate sacrifice.

So in Luke, when Jesus is partaking in this very same meal with his disciples, he breaks this piece of matzah and instead of saying what they normally hear, he says, "This is my body, which is given for you. Do this in remembrance of me." He opens their eyes to the prophecy they have been partaking in all their lives without even realizing it! Jesus is the afikomen, the dessert, the perfect Passover Lamb.

I think this last Passover meal with Jesus also is very powerful for the Gentiles, because it gives a new meaning to this meal-- not only to remember the Jews' freedom from exile in Egypt, but now also to remember the freedom from the slavery of humanity to sin. This meal covers all of us. We are all, Jews and Gentiles alike, to remember the event that freed us from the bondage of sin-- permanently.

That is why we partake in the Lord's supper. It is so much more than what we have made it.

A Picnic to Remember!

We had a picnic today for the community of Opelika, and it went so well! We had about 100 people come and eat. Many of them were excited "about next year!!" We were not sure what to expect. Little did we know, most all of our food and drinks would be donated. We entered a video in a contest and were hoping to win some money (we didn't). But God provided more than we could have ever imagined. We had so much fun and built some great relationships with the people who came. It was a beautiful day. I can't think of a better way to spend a Saturday. We hope to do many more events like this in the future! God is good!

James 1

What an incredible chapter.

James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ, to the twelve tribes scattered among the nations: Greetings.

Trials and Temptations

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must ask and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

The brother in humble circumstances ought to take pride in his high position. But the one who is rich should take pride in his low position, for he will pass away like a wild flower. The sun rises with scorching heat and withers away the plant; the blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich man will fade away even as he goes about his business.

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, for when he has stood the test, he will be given the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. 

When tempted, no one should say "God is tempting me," for God cannot be tempted by evil nor does he tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

Do not be deceived, dear brothers, for every good and perfect gift comes from the father of heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, so that we might become a kind of first fruits of all he created.

Listening and doing

My dear brothers, take note of this: Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. For man's anger does not bring about the righteous life God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted within you, which can save you.

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like man who looks at his face in the mirror, and after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to this, not forgetting what he has heard- he will be blessed in what he does.

If anyone who considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless. Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless as this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. 

This chapter is jammed full of what seems to be random advice for living a Christ-like life, but if we look a little deeper into the meaning of this chapter, it is much more than that. It is also a testament to the sovereignty of Jesus! 

Being that James was Jesus' brother, I think it's really cool that he calls him "the Lord Jesus Christ" in the first verse- I don't think I would be so keen to do so unless I was absolutely convinced that my sibling was undoubtedly the Messiah. :)

The first chunk ("Consider it pure joy-all he does") seems to jump from persevering through trials to asking God for wisdom to asking and not doubting. In the past I have wondered why James changed ideas from sentence to sentence, but now, I see an important correlation. I think James is trying to say here, 

"When hard times come, you get tough. You learn how to maneuver through life better with every situation you pull through. As you become more mature, you will begin to hunger for wisdom to make the right decisions, because that's what maturity is all about-- desiring to please God. When you begin to feel the need for this wisdom, just ask God. He wants to give it to you, but you must go through those trials and become mature and complete before you are ready. When you reach this point, ask God and know that he is going to give you the wisdom you need to keep maturing. If you aren't ready for that wisdom, you will doubt that God is going to help you. If you're doubting God's generosity, you're not ready for his wisdom. Take a few more trials and learn to be a little more mature. You don't want the wisdom God has to give if you're not prepared for it. It's heavy stuff."

How does this relate to the next chunk about the poor man taking pride in his high position and the rich man taking pride in his low position?

I think it all has to do with the idea that trials, humble circumstances, or whatever you want to call "I-think-the-grass-is-greener-over-there" situations aren't always what you think they are. We are always trying to run away from hardships, thinking that if we are ever faced with something unpleasant it's not God's will for our lives. James is saying that this is contrary to what Jesus teaches-- He wants us to value humility before we value an easy life full of money and worldly success. There are three definitions of humble:

1. not proud our haughty; not arrogant or assertive

2. reflecting, expressing, or offered in a spirit of deference  or submission

3. ranking low in a hierarchy or scale insignificant, unpretentious. Not costly or luxurious.

I think of Jesus when I hear all three of those definitions. Jesus requires these qualities of us as well, no matter what personality we have or how ambitious we may be. I think this is a problem for many of us, and I'm not just talking about money. Anything that makes us feel like we are important and anything that we prize more than we should robs us of a humble spirit and causes us to wither away like a wild flower. Think of a those yellow flowers kids always pick from the weeds in the yards and bring to their mothers. The blossom begins to fade hours after it is picked, useless and ugly. But the dirt under the weeds remains season after season, humble, but unchanging and reliable. Are we dandelions or dirt? 

Calling it a night... I'll finish this another day. 

A Crazy Day

So today was a BAD day for the most part. As strange as it sounds, I think I needed it. I've  had a lot of good days, and I have been praying for humility a lot lately, and I got a large dose of it today. We had a "debate" in class today. I had to argue for the stimulus package, and I just talked a lot. I shouldn't have, because I'm a terrible arguer. I know I am a terrible arguer, but I guess my pride or my passion about it just took over. I think people hate me. Haha. One girl was just called me out and was like "I don't understand your argument" in an angry voice, and I shut up after that. In addition to that, I forgot to do 8 spreadsheets that were due the next class. Luckily, he let me turn it in this afternoon, but it was an ORDEAL to get it printed! I tried two different places in the library-- printer didn't work. I had to walk to the student center to use CopyCat... anyway, long story short, I was more than frustrated! I know that sounds not-so-awful, but for some reason, today it was. I think it was 1. Lack of sleep, 2. Over-sensitivity to what people think about me, 3. Friday the 13th, 4. I was just so ready to be done (it's the Friday before spring break for goodness' sake!) 

So, needless to say, I was humbled, especially by the debate incident. I just feel like I talk SO much sometimes, and I say so little. I just want to make a difference, and I feel like I talk so much that people just A.D.D. out and stop listening. I over explain myself 88.7% of the time, and I use 4321134124 words when I'm only trying to get across a point that could be explained in 6. I can say what I need to say when I write, but not when I speak. I hate that. I wish I were one of those quiet people who, when they finally speak up, say something meaningful. 

I need to master the art of thinking before I speak. I know God made me loud and crazy and opinionated for a reason, but I just feel like I'm more annoying than anything sometimes. I want to shut up long enough for God to use me. I just want to be wise... 

"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." James 1:5 

Really, don't read this. I'm doing this so I can access this easily for studying purposes.

Capitalization

-avoid unnecessary capitals

-proper nouns

-some common nouns receive proper noun status when they are used as the name of a particular entity: General Electric, Gulf Oil

-proper names: capitalize common nouns such as party, river, street and west when they are an integral part of the full name for a person, place or thing: Democratic Party, Mississippi River, etc. 

-Lowercase these common nouns when they stand alone in subsequent references the party, the river, etc

-Lowercase the common noun elements of names in all plural uses: the Democratic and Republican parties, Main and State streets, lakes Erie and Ontario

-popular names: some places and events lack officially designated proper names but have popular names that are the effective equivalent: the Combat Zone (a section of downtown Boston), the Main Line (a group of Philadelphia suburbs), the Badlands (of S.D.), the Street (the financial community in the Wall Street area of New York). 

-this also applies to shortened versions of the proper names of one-of-a-kind events: the Series (the World Series), the Derby (the Kentucky Derby). 

-derivatives: capitalize words that are derived from a proper noun and still depend on it for their meaning: American, Christian, Christianity, English, French, Marxism, Shakespearean. 

-Lowercase words that are derived from a proper noun but no longer depend on it for their meaning: french fries, herculean, manhattan cocktail, malapropism, pasteurize, quixotic, venetian blind. 

-titles: capitalize formal titles when used immediately before a name. Lowercase formal titles when used alone or in constructions that set them off from a name by commas: President Barack Obama/ Barack Obama, president of the United States, 

-Use lowercase at all times for terms that are job descriptions rather than formal titles: gardener John C. Jones

Abbreviations/Acronyms

-before a name: Abbreviate titles when used before a full name: Dr., Gov., Lt. Gov., Mr., Mrs., Rep., the Rev., Sen. and certain military designations:

general: Gen.

lieutenant general: Lt. Gen.

major general: Maj. Gen.

brigadier general: Brig. Gen.

colonel: Col.

lieutenant colonel: Lt. Col. 

major: Maj.

captain: Capt.

first lieutenant: 1st Lt.

second lieutenant: 2nd Lt.

sergeant major: Sgt. Maj.

first sergeant: 1st Sgt. 

sergeant first class: Sgt. 1st Class

specialist four: Spec. 4

corporal: Cpl.

private first class: Pfc.

private: Pvt.

chief petty officer: Chief Petty Officer

admiral: Adm.

vice admiral: Vice Adm.

rear admiral: Rear Adm.

commodore: Commodore

captain: Capt.

commander: Cmdr.

lieutenant commander: Lt. Cmdr.

lieutenant: Lt.

lieutenant junior grade: Lt. j.g. 

ensign: Ensign

seaman: Seaman

seaman apprentice: Seaman Apprentice

master sergeant: Master Sgt. 

technical sergeant: Tech. Sgt. 

airman first class: Airman 1st Class

airman: Airman

With dates or numerals: Use the abbreviations A.D., B.C., a.m., p.m., No., (ONLY WITH NUMERALS ATTACHED) and abbreviate certain months when used with the day of the month: Jan., Feb., March, April, May, June, July, Aug., Sept., Oct., Nov., Dec.

-In numbers and addresses: Abbreviate avenue, boulevard and street in numbered addresses: He lives on Pennsylvania Avenue. He lives at 122 Pennsylvania Ave. 

-Acceptable but not required: CIA, FBI, GOP

-DO NOT follow an organization's full name with an abbreviation or acronym in parentheses or set off by dashes (Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) NO NO NO! 

-Caps, Periods: Generally, omit periods in acronyms unless the result would spell an unrelated word. But use period in most two-letter abbreviations: U.K., U.S., etc. 

-Use all caps, but no periods, in longer abbreviations and acronyms when the individual letters are pronounced: ABC, CIA, FBI

Punctuation

-Apostrophe

-plural nouns ending in S: Add only an apostrophe: the churches' needs

-nouns plural in form, singular in meaning: add only an apostrophe: mathematics' rules

-nouns the same in singular and plural: treat them the same as plurals, even if the meaning is singular: one corps' location, the two deer's tracks, the lone moose's antlers

-singular nouns not ending in S: Add 's: the church's needs.

-singular common nouns ending in S: add 's unless the next word begins with s: the hostess's invitation, but the hostess' seat.

-singular proper names ending in S: Use only an apostrophe: Achilles' heel, Agnes' book.

-Special Expressions: for appearance' sake, for conscience' sake (end in s sound and next word starts with s)

-Joint/Individual Possession: Use a possessive form after only the last word if ownership is joint: Fred and Sylvia's apartment. But use a possessive form after both words if the objects are individually owned: Fred's and Sylvia's books. 

-Descriptive Phrases: Don't add apostrophe to a word ending in s when it is used primarily in a descriptive sense: citizens band radio, a teachers college, a Teamsters request, a writers guide. (**The apostrophe usually is not used if for or by rather than of would be appropriate in the longer form: a radio for citizens, a college for teachers, a request by the Teamsters, a guide for writers).

Comma

-In a series: Use a comma to separate elements in a series, but do not put a comma before the conjunction in a simple series: The flag is red, white and blue.

-Put a comma before the concluding conjunction in a series, however, if an integral element of the series requires a conjunction: I had orange juice, toast, and ham and eggs for breakfast.

-Also use a comma before the concluding conjunction in a complex set of phrases.

-With equal adjectives: Use commas to separate a series of adjectives equal in  rank. If the commas could be replaced by the word "and" without changing the sense, the adjectives are equal: a thoughtful, precise manner; a dark, dangerous street.

-Use no comma when the last adjective before a noun outranks its predecessors because it is an integral element of a noun phrase, which is the equivalent of a single noun: a cheap fur coat (the noun phrase is fur coat); the old oaken bucket; a new, blue spring bonnet.

-With nonessential clauses: A nonessential clause must be set off by commas. An essential clause must NOT be set off from the rest of a sentence by commas. My son Todd plays football. My husband, Bob, is awesome. 

-With introductory clauses and phrases: When he woke up, he felt sore. 

-With conjunctions: When a conjunction such as and, but or for links two clauses that could stand alone as separate sentences, use a comma before the conjunction in most cases. 

-Introducing direct quotes:

-one-sentence quotation within a paragraph: Wallace said, "She spent six months in Argentina."

-use a colon to introduce quotations of more than one sentence.

-do not use a comma at the start of an indirect or partial quotation

-Before attribution: use a comma instead of a at the end of a quote that is followed by attribution: "Rub my shoulders," Miss Cawley said.

Semicolon

- to clarify a series: Use semicolons to separate elements of a series when the items in the series are long o when individual segments contain material that also must be set off by commas: "He is survived by a son, John Smith, of Chicago; three daughters, Jane Smith...

-to link independent clauses: The package was due last week; it arrived today.

Hyphen

Hyphens are joiners. Use them to avoid ambiguity or to form a single idea from two or more words. 

-avoid ambiguity: Use a hyphen whenever ambiguity would result if it were omitted: The president will speak to small-business men. 

-Compound modifiers: a first-quarter touchdown, out-of-state college

-most of these lose the hyphen when placed after the noun: touchdown in the first quarter, she attended a college out of state. 

-BUT when a modifier that would be hyphenated before a noun occurs instead after a form of the bird to be, the hyphen must be retained to avoid confusion: The man is well-known. The woman is quick-witted. 

-Two-thought compounds: serio-comic, socio-economic

-Compound proper nouns and adjectives: Use a hyphen to designate dual heritage: Italian-American

Quotations

-do not use fragments: Wrong: "The senator said he would "go home to Michigan" if he lost the election. Right: The senator said he would go home to Michigan if he lost the election.

Numerals 

-Use 1-9, ten

-spell out numbers if they are the first word of a sentence (unless a year)

Patience vs. Patients

Patience (self-control)

Patients (clients of a doctor)

I had a word usage test today. Word usage is all about using the right word at the right time. I think I did well. I like writing. I like editing. I like photography. I like Jesus. I like traveling (traveling has ONE "l" not two. I missed that on my spelling test).  I would really like to know how God is going to use all of these avocations of mine in my future. Thus patience, the self-control kind, is really a tough concept for me to grasp right now. Some days, I would love to be back in the time when I had everything planned- I was going to be a veterinarian. I knew what to do and when to do it, and I knew I could go anywhere with that job. The problem came along when I completely lost my passion for veterinary medicine during my freshman year and capitalized on my lifelong obsession with the technicalities and the art of the English language. So not practical. So not an easily planned career path, and lately my mind is screaming at me, "What are you doing???" 

Alas, my heart and my soul trump my head, and I'm actually extremely grateful for that. I know I'm on this path for a reason, and I am a firm believer that God gives us talents and passions to show us his will for our lives. I've heard some people say "don't follow your dreams, follow God's!" This is a true statement, but from what I've experienced, God doesn't really rip away our dreams and throw them into the trash can, but rather, he changes them (if we're open enough to allow him to). When we cling tightly to our goals and plans is when God must painfully remove them from us and we must learn to adjust to his plans for our lives. If we are in open communication with God, and are truly willing to submit to his authority, he begins to change our hearts willingly. We wonder what our dreams ever were in the first place, and we find ourselves loving something (or someone) we never could have imagined.  

My problem often lies when I look behind or ahead of me. I am content when I'm thinking about today, but the thoughts of what could have been and what will be terrify me when I give them a second thought. God is very much a God of the present. We've been talking about that a lot on Tuesday nights at BCM lately, and it has struck me as something I've never given much consideration to in the past. I don't want to worry my life away (sounds like a Jason Mraz song to me...), and I am making a conscious (maybe not natural, but conscious just the same) effort to just let go of the future as well as the past, and take to today for what it is. God is not a God of confusion. He is the artist of the Big Picture, and I'm just a speck of paint on his canvas. It all makes sense to him.