The real world...

I started my journalism classes this semester. Newswriting and Photojournalism. I'm stoked. Because this is what I want to do with my life, of course I decided that I would schmooze as much as possible without being obnoxious or brown-nosing. Just friendly and active in discussion-- to make a good impression.

My newswriting professor is amazing and extremely kind. I really like her. I asked her today if I could e-mail her my first ever Plainsman article that I stumbled into writing, and she said she would take a look at it. She encouraged me to keep writing and getting experience. Sweet. Uplifting. Nothing too special, but nice.

I also dropped my my photojournalism professor's office today to ask for help selecting photos for my Glomerata photography staff interview (this is my "resume building" semester since I only have 13 hours and no real job). He told me to come back at 1 p.m. Sweet again. What I good day, I thought. I go to his class at 11 and then eat lunch and head back over there. And of course I show up at 1 o'clock, and he forgot I was coming. Okay, not too bad; simple mistake. He looks at my pictures and just shrugs them off like, OK, but not spectacular. Again, not too bad considering I've only been taking pictures since January, and I've never had any formal training. Then, he tells me to bring back my "student portfolio" one day and we can pick some stuff out of that. I was like "my what?" Awkward silence. He said, "haven't you had my class before? You know, the portfolio." Ummm no. I am actually the girl that sits in the FRONT ROW of your class this semester and answers a bunch of questions with eager enthusiasm because I'm obsessed with photography. Cool. I calmly reply, "Oh no, I'm actually in your class this semester." Bewildered look. "Oh! Sorry, I have a lot going on," and for about the third time this week, "What's your name again?"

As I sauntered out the door, it hit me. This is what the real world is like. The world where I will soon be trying to get a job from people who "have a lot going on" and who are super nice, but also super don't care. We have to be diligent, and we have to keep being ourselves no matter what!

I made another appointment to go over my application and final picture selections on Monday, and I'll tell my name again if I must. Life's a bigger fishbowl than I thought.

Pure in Heart

"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God."

Pure- free from dust, dirt or taint; free from what vitiates, weakens, or pollutes; containing nothing that doesn't properly belong; free from moral fault or guilt

This is a tough one for me, because I struggle with the purity of my heart. I often wonder if my motives are pure, if I am humble or proud in my heart or if I simply choose to neglect purity.

Pure. Obviously a good thing, a healthy thing. Why do we so often invite things into our hearts that don't belong there? They become the dirt that pollutes us, weakening our convictions and killing our long-run self-esteem. The impurity of the heart affects the rest of our body, mind, soul, what have you. Obviously the "heart" is metaphoric since the heart itself carries no ties to emotion or thought.

But why the heart? Why choose that particular organ to represent our deepest, most passionate love?

Because the heart (the actual organ) is central to our body's survival. The body can't live without it, and it is involved in every body system. It never stops working, and it doesn't work on an as-needed basis. It is precious to our lives. It is vital. It continues to pump blood throughout our bodies whether we are awake or asleep, sick or well, hot or cold, sad or happy.

Unless something blocks it. Something that enters it that doesn't belong. It stops beating; you die; the end.

That is why the heart represents our unique person. It's the thing that sets us apart from others, the thing that defines the course of our lives; it loves, it hurts, it houses our God. That's the metaphoric Heart. Just like literal heart, metaphoric Heart is central. Without it, we cease to exist as an individual. We need to take care of it. Just like a person who eats a Big Mac twice a day, if we fill ourselves with crap, our Hearts will be in serious trouble.

With all of that said, what does a pure heart look like? I think it looks like this: pure motives, selfless attitudes, forgiveness, mercy, humility, pure thoughts and pure bodies-- basically all that God gives us in the Bible to live by.

So if the Heart is our own unique personality, our "self," if you will, then taking care of it is cultivating our own unique identity in Christ. Rather than molding us all into the same, cookie-cutter image of a perfect, boring Christian, Jesus promotes our individuality by telling us the best way to live in order to gain freedom from sin. Sin is what makes us all the same; purity is what sets us apart from those around us. I know it seems ridiculous, but if you really sit and ponder on this for a few minutes, it makes more sense.

If we get rid of the blockages in our Heart, we have the freedom to live, and to live well. If we submit to sin, we are slaves to it, looking more and more sad and hopeless everyday. We lose our spirit and our uniqueness to something we thought would give us freedom, but instead presented shackles. The pure in heart will see God. This is true- for God is a God of freedom.

blah.

I sometimes act like a crazy (insert profanity that starts with a b here).

Today was one of those days.

I'm not going to pour out all of the details on here, but I would like to express that today was a humbling day. I hope that I can be less crazy tomorrow.

The end.

"Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy."

merciful- compassionate; providing relief
mercy- compassion or forbearance shown especially to an offender or to one subject to one's power; lenient or compassionate treatment.

In order to show someone mercy, a person must be in a position of power over that person. This word does not mean "forgive those who hurt you." (that's meekness) People who show mercy are people with the power to punish subordinates, deserved or undeserved, and choose not to. he image I get in my head when I read this definition is of a king who decides if a peasant prisoner should live or die. A merciful king decides to allow the peasant to live because he sees something in this lowly man that makes him believe that he should be given a second chance at life.

So in this beattitude, was Jesus encouraging people in positions of power to be compassionate leaders? Absolutely. Jesus believes in trusting people who do not earn his trust. Otherwise we would never receive salvation.

How can we show mercy? What if we don't feel like we have enough power to be merciful? Each of us has some sort of influence or power over someone else, whether it is direct (parent, boss, teacher, etc.) or indirect (someone who knows a secret about someone else, a person who has been wronged by someone who is trying to earn their forgiveness, etc.). If you have direct power over another, be compassionate. Do not dismiss issues that need to be dealt with, but don't threaten to carry out a ridiculous punishment just so you can claim you were merciful in giving a more fair punishment ("I could fire you for being late, but I'm just going to write you up. You better be glad you have me for a boss"). Be compassionate from the start by designing rules and punishments for breaking these rules around your knowledge of human nature. Punishment is certainly necessary, but be merciful so the punishment does not end or severely damage your relationship with your subordinate. Use your authority to inspire people to do righteous actions rather than scaring them into skirting just close enough to the right thing to get by.

If you are in a position of indirect power over someone else, be merciful in not using that power to manipulate them. Showing mercy in these situations means being honest about why you hold this mysterious power over this person, and refusing to guilt trip the other person into complying with your demands. Show mercy by forgiving these people, or in some cases, accepting their authority over you despite their flaws.

The kicker is the second part of this beattitude: "they shall receive mercy." No matter what, there will always be times in our lives when we have authority to show mercy to other, and there will be other times when we will be the subordinate. If we show mercy to those we supervise, those who have power over us will be more inclined to show us mercy. Basically "treat others as you would have them treat you."

Best job ever

I'm an RA this year, and about half of the residents in our building moved in today. I was expecting us to be swamped with annoying questions, crazed parents clawing at the door at 7 a.m. and trying to bend all the rules to fit their needs, and girls who would pitch fits about getting the smaller closet.

None of that happened. People are INCREDIBLE.

The residents arrived, some almost crawling out of their skin with excitement, others smiling nervously, trying to hide that knot in their stomach steadily growing in dread of sleeping away from home for the first time. But none of them were selfish, spoiled or mean. They were funny, sweet and mature about the whole process. They comforted and reassured their parents, who were also great. The families were inquisitive, but not pushy (for the most part), and they were so thankful when we could help them. I saw so many examples of love today-- in the mom who asked questions when her child wasn't around to make sure she would be okay when she had to leave, the younger siblings who were so eager to help their big sister or brother, the dads, who lugged in heavy refrigerators in the 90 degree heat, and even the best friends and extended family who made the trip to help. Everyone was focused on the resident-- I imagine it was both unnerving and encouraging all at the same time.

I loved answering their questions, seeing the sigh of relief in parents' eyes when they saw that someone else cared about their child. Hearing the thank-you's and the sincere questions about my personal life from people who I had just met. Me answering sincerely and seeing the relief in all of their faces that I had survived two years of college, and that they probably would too. Hanging out with residents in the lobby learning their lives, their passions, their stories.

It was a great day. God made me outgoing for this. He made me fearless of talking to strangers for this. He made me with the ability to talk with everyone in the room in under thirty minutes for THIS. I always thought those things were useless. I wanted to be the quiet girl who had something incredible to say when she finally opened her mouth. I wanted to be known for my depth, not my initial bubblyness. I wanted to be mysterious, brooding, thought-provoking.

I'm not those things. I never will be. I need to learn how to listen to people better. I need to respect people while they're talking and give them time to fully develop what they're saying. That's the bad part of my personality. Those are my weaknesses-- I suck at listening. But I'm good at making people feel a part of something. I'm good at hospitality, making people feel at ease in a foreign place. I was hurt earlier in the summer when someone said I was the "meet and greet" girl-- I was good at meeting people, but I needed to pass them along to someone else once they were comfortable. I didn't understand how in the world that could ever be a positive thing. And sometimes it's not. But I'm finally seeing that it can be.

I prayed for some encouragement not too long ago, and God just gave it to me.

Matthew 5:6

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be satisfied."

Righteousness-
1. Acting in accord with divine or moral law
2. Morally right or justifiable

Morality. I often stress the importance of not focusing too intensely on our personal morality. I still stand behind that statement. Hungering and thirsting for righteousness is often confused with self-righteousness.

Self-righteousness-
convinced of one's own righteousness especially in contrast with the actions or beliefs of others: narrow-mindedly moralistic.

A self-righteous person can't "hunger and thirst for righteousness." They are already convinced they have arrived at moral perfection. The self-righteous person calls everyone else out on their flaws, but he fails to see his own weaknesses, therefore he never seeks to improve his moral condition.

Self-righteous people will never be satisfied as Jesus talks about in this passage. Think of it as a child who is hungry and thirsty. Instead of asking her mom for a snack, she finds a stash of Snickers and Reese's and washes them down with a Coke. She feels satisfied at first, but she soon begins to have a stomach ache. Rather than depending on her mom for nutritional satisfaction, she tried to create her own diet. Although it ceased her hunger and thirst, the meal was not healthy for her.

Just like this example, the self-righteous Christian neglects to plead with God for moral direction, but instead relies on social mores and laws to define his perfect morality. Christian circles often create extra-scriptural moral laws, creating the image of the "perfect Christian." The only morality we are accountable for is God's law, which if we remember says not to judge others and to pick the log out of our own eye before we go in attack mode over the speck in our neighbor's.

Everyone's morality does not look the same. Stop putting yourself in a box based on what people say you should be. If the expectations are not scriptural, they are most likely not God's. If we are not relying on God for our own specific moral instructions, we are settling for self-righteousness.

We must understand that in order to be able to hunger and thirst for something, we must be willing to admit our helplessness and inability to provide our own satisfaction. We must hunger and thirst for what is divinely righteous for us individually rather than finding false satisfaction in our perfect performance of what is culturally acceptable in our Christian circles.